And verily did the pseudo-vegetable tomato go unto the other vegetables of the garden of Eden. And there did begin the great revolution of the vegetative. Thus man did come under the most appalling of attacks. From all fronts did it come. From the west, the fruit in their varying sizes, shapes, and tongues. From the east did the vegetables descend. The squashes and the zucchini. The eggplant and the pumpkins. The onions dug in from the deep south and the garlic too. From the hoary north came the quick frozen veggies. The succotash blend and the Asian stir fry mix. They poured into the land of man, and man was scorned.
The earth was scorched and naught was left but the beasts and the eaters of Hostess.
Amen.
(Brother Ho-Ho of the Sublime Order of the Creamy Filling)